I seek opinions
Not really to change how I live because of them
But to hear what you’re thinking
What everyone is thinking
I hate that I do that
I seek out opinions of others that don’t matter
And I get hurt,
every single time
But I come crawling back to that stupid reassurance I think I need
Why?
Because part of me cares, cares about what the world has to say
It doesn’t matter though
My past doesn’t define me
God knows every single thing I’ve done
Every mistake made
Every sin committed
Every point missed
He knows about all of it and I am forgiven
Forgiven from what you think is irreversible
My God can do that and my God loves me that much
-Jules

Good afternoon and welcome back to Jules’ Blog. I hope you are doing well and if not I pray that the Father would send His spirit to help you in your weakness.

Yesterday was thanksgiving as many of you know. Something that God put on my mind was “what are you thankful for?” Really thankful for, not the typical answers, “family, friends, food”. He challenged me to think outside the narrow box that can be my mind at times. As I started to ponder on this question, my head began to flood with so many things to be thankful for. The typical answers came and went, but the more time I spent thinking on these things, the deeper my answers became. Being thankful for family turned into being thankful that God created people for the sake of fellowship with Him. Friends turned into being thankful for each encounter I have ever had, that God was present in those times and that He brought those people into my life to work in ways I’m unaware of. Food turned into being thankful that God provides all things, great and small. As these thoughts and many more were stirring in my mind, the minute things became even smaller in my eyes. I can thank God for that! The 364 other days of the year, I am likely to forget everything I have to be thankful for. I’m aware that is the sin of being ungrateful. I pray that God would poke and prod in my heart to mold me to be more like Him. During those days that I forget to be thankful, I start to become selfish and glorify myself for my accomplishments. Pride is a very real struggle for me. Getting lost in my success seems to be a frequent area of failure. A lot of my life, degrading phrases were thrown into my head, things that made me feel less than worthy of attention or even love for that matter. Hence why getting lost in glorifying myself is so easy, because I wasn’t feeling loved. This is another area of my life God continues to grow me in. Pushing me to seek Him for love and relying on Him for feeling worthy. It is a process, let me say that right now. Loving myself and feeling worthy on my own is not easy. Even at times where my relationship with Christ is at an all time high, a small twinge of guilt or regret can throw me back into feeling worthless. Like I said earlier, it’s a process. Who knows, it might be a struggle for years. 

From here I would like to encourage you all to seek God, who is greater than all things for comfort, love and feeling worthy. Next I  want to challenge you all to think of 5 things you are thankful for every day, share them with a friend or family member-you could even ask them to hold you accountable. Thank you again for joining me in this journey, and I hope that you are willing to stick by me through this time! 

Thank you for joining me and coming alongside this journey that is life, we are all glad you’re here!

My name is Julia and I am a college student at the University of Southern Indiana. I am halfway in my sophomore year and majoring in Communication Studies and minoring in Journalism. Hobbies include, but are not limited to; coloring (in adult coloring books of course), writing poetry, sharing my love for Jesus Christ, exploring coffee shops, and being a full-time roommate. Childhood for me consisted of exploring the many acres around our house to build forts in the woods, playing tag and house, raising livestock and showing them in 4H- you could say I was an active child. Growing up with 5 boys (1 brother and 4 cousins next door) my sister and I were just “some of the guys”, until we worked up the courage to get our own friends. In high school, not much changed, we just got busier and grew up some; we no longer built forts, we played cards and went to movies, you know “old people things”. Starting out college, we went our own ways. From Evansville to Indianapolis, we are spread out, luckily we still share the same original stomping grounds.

I started “Jules’ Blog” for a few reasons; first being my momma has encouraged me to get one for a while, second being my love for writing, and finally wanting to share my work for readers somewhere on the spectrum from loneliness of self to thrilled with life’s circumstances. My hope from this is that I might be able to reach the woman who is hurting and in need of saving or that I can encourage the bubbly-spirited girl passing through as her heart beats for an exciting read. My love extends to anyone who crosses this page and I encourage all to love one another well. Thank you.

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” -Romans 8:26